I've broken up with my 3.5 yr of relationship in the beginning 2011. Speaking that was also at the period on my last semester at uni. I was broken and gained weight because of wanting to let the pain left me.
In the beginning of 2012, I went out with another guy. But it lasted only for two months when he realised he still had a feeling with his freagin ugly and fat ex. I was devastated and have been on mental illness ever since.
It's becoming worst now. I literally could hate people. Hate them so much.
Not only guys but mostly also girls. I hate hang out and celebrate event together with a bunch of friends. I prefer stay at home watching Korean drama. Crying by myself.
I constantly getting depress and not knowing what to do in life. My relationship with God also falling and feel like my ministry at church is an act of hypocrytism (no such word, I made that up).
The only goal I have now is to become skinny. Currently my weight is still not crazily up but I want to loss again. Back to my lowest weight again 44 kg.
Current weight= 48kg
Goal weight = 45kg
GW next week 17/01 = 47.5kg
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